Dancing Fools 4
by Persiana13
Summary: My fourth Dancing with the Stars Parody. This one involves numerous other DC universe couples. The Insanity returns once again!
1. Chapter 1

**Dancing Fools 4 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC. I Own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC. _

Chapter 1: We're back to THIS? 

Catwoman jumped up and down with glee,

"It's finally happening. It's finally happening."

Lex groaned,

"Persiana13 is at it again."

He looked into the camera,

"You idiot readers are making him do this! Stop supporting this man's insanity and tell him to stop torturing us!"

Lex got hit with a mallet,

"OW! JOKER!"

Joker shrugged,

"What, Lexie? I like this kid. He's crazy!"

Hawk gruffed,

"Look who's talking."

Dove shook his head,

"Hank, calm down. It's not going to be as bad as that time you stepped on Farrah's tail."  
Hawk glared,

"Like that's MY fault that happened. That was an accident."

Flash said,

"To Farrah, it wasn't. You did step on her tail."

Hawk shook his head,

"That woman has to be locked up in a psych ward! What she did to me, the things she did to me…they're unspeakable."

Star Sapphire said,

"It is not half as bad as Catman, at least. You would think he would take a hint after all the times she's tortured him."

The author entered with Farrah,

**You'd think so, but no. ** **Well, glad you all could make it. **

Lex grumbled,

"Like you're gonna give us any other choice."

He then got hit with a bean bag gun,

"OW!"

Farrah said,

"Well, as you all know by now, our Dancing Fools series is a real hit with the readers, and we've got more planned. But, for now, we've got this one."

**Yep, so let's go down the list of couples, shall we? Now, we're going to be mixing it up this season with some heroes and villains couples. Let's start, shall we? **

Hawk: I don't want to do this.

**Oh, really? **

The author turned to Farrah,

**Sic 'em! **

Farrah grinned,

"Yummy, turkey."

She pounced on Hawk, a fight breaking out. Hawk screamed frantically,

"HELP! GET HER AWAY FROM ME! NO BITING! NO BITING!"

This went on for about a minute or so and Farrah stopped and trotted up to her boyfriend Diablos. Diablos shrugged,

"He had it coming."

Hawk curled up in the fetal position,

"Evil kitties will eat me. Evil kitties will eat me."

**All right, let's go down the list. First, we have Sue Dibny and Elongated Man. **

Sue smirked,

"No surprise."

**Next up, Big Barda and Mister Miracle. **

Barda scowled,

"I am a warrior, not a dancer."

**You are what I say you are, so don't complain. **

Barda towered over the author,

"What did you say to me, little man?"

Mister Miracle said calmly,

"Take it easy, Barda. He's just trying to push your buttons."

Barda growled,

"I should push his head between his shoulders."

**Whatever. Next up…Hal Jordan and Star Sapphire! **

Star Sapphire grinned,

"Sweet!"

She turned to Hal,

"Hello, Hal."  
Hal groaned,

"Why me?"

**John Stewart and Fatality. **

John shouted,

"Say WHAT? That woman is trying to kill me!"

**Not anymore. After her stint in the Sinestro Corps, the Star Sapphire's caught her and made her one of their own. **

Fatality entered in REVEALING Star Sapphire outfit,

"Hello, John. I may not be a villain anymore, but I can still be bad for you."

She seductively winked. John groaned,

"Kill me now and get it over with."

**Hey, that's not the worst pairing I came up with. **

Lex rolled his eyes,

"I can only imagine."

He got hit with a mallet,

"OW! Joker!"

**Next on the list…Nightwing and Starfire. **

Nightwing said,

"I would have thought that you would be saving us when you do a Titans Parody on this."

**I thought about it, but I've got a lot on my plate right now. Anyway, let's go down further. Superman…**

Superman groaned,

"Oh, God, who is it this time?"

**Maxima. **

Maxima entered,

"Hello, Superman."

She pounced, Superman started running. Maxima was hot on his heel.

**Ah, young love. **

Superman yelled off camera,

"I'm a married man!"

**Meh. Anyway, I saved this one for Catwoman. **

Catwoman was giddy,

"Yeah-yeah-yeah. So, it's going to be Batman. It's so going to be Batman."

**Catwoman, you're going to be dancing with…HIM! **

Catman entered,

"Am I late?"

**Nope, you and Catwoman are the final couple. **

Catwoman was horrified,

"WHAT? HAVE YOU TOTALLY LOST YOUR MIND?"

Catman was equally shocked,

"YOU SAID I WAS GOING TO BE DANCING WITH A FELINE!"

**I did. You're dancing with Catwoman. I kept my end of the bargain. Now, keep yours, or I get Persiana after you. **

Farrah was holding katana, smiling evilly,

"I am so going to enjoy neutering you, Catman."

Diablos sighed,

"And thus, another insane season of Dancing Fools has begun. For those of you that have managed to keep your sanity this long…something is definitely wrong with you."

He got hit with a bean bag,

"OW!"

Next Chapter:

Meet the judges!


	2. Chapter 2

**Dancing Fools 4**

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC._

Chapter 2: Judge-ment Day! 

**Well, now that we've got that out of the way, let's meet our judges. **

Lex quipped,

"Oh, goody."

He got hit with a mallet,

OW! Joker, knock it off!

**Our first judge for this evening is going to be…Wonder Woman! **

Wonder Woman turned around,

"I can't believe I agreed to this."

Wonder Girl smiled,

"Cheer up, sister. This is another opportunity to see Farrah in that sexy gown of hers.

She grinned seductively at Farrah. Farrah blinked,

"Uh, sure, Donna."

Catwoman complained,

"Great! Just great! I get paired up with a love struck feline wannabe with a thing for fuzzy chicks, and now, I have a fat Amazon cow critiquing my dancing! This is an outrage!"

Farrah smirked,

"You really wanted to dance with Batman, didn't you?"

Catwoman nodded,

"Yes! Wonder Woman will never look good in black."

**I wouldn't bet on that. **

The author pulled out a video,

**You might want to take a look at this. **

The author played the video of Wonder Woman as the Black Queen. (1)

Wonder Woman was stunned,

"WHERE DID YOU GET THAT TAPE?"  
**You'd be surprised what I can get when I can get it. **

Lex blinked,

"I have never seen anything like this."

Lex winced,

"Wonder Woman has way too much time on her hands."

Hawk drooled,

"Wow."

Catwoman looked on in horror,

"THAT AMAZON GOT TO HIM BEFORE I DID!"

She turned and jumped Wonder Woman, a cat-fight breaking out,

"DIE!"

Farrah blinked,

"Do you think I should tell Catwoman that this was my idea?"

**Nah, it's more fun when she figures it out. **

Diablos groaned,

"This is not happening."

A series of loud crashes could be heard. Diablos winced,

"Oh, that looked expensive."

**Hey, there's no destroying my set! If you two want to cat-fight, you're going to have to wait until after the show!  
**Catwoman was furious,

"First, you pair me up with Catman, and now, I find out this…bitch stole my man from me!"

Wonder Woman wiped her mouth,

"Batman could never love you. He wouldn't lower his standards that much."

Farrah grinned,

"She's got you there, Catwoman."

Wonder Girl nodded,

"Yes, that is definitely true."

Catwoman looked in horror,

"You can't be serious! Do I look like I'm a slut?"

**Pretty much. **

Hawkgirl said,

"Yeah."

Wonder Woman commented,

"I agree."

Fire grumbled,

"I thought I was bad."

Ice added,

"She doesn't know anything about modesty."

Catwoman began sobbing,

"You're all mean!"

She ran out of the studio, crying.

**Well, that solves that problem. Now, let's meet our second judge for the show. His name is…Diablos. **

Diablos blinked,

"Wait, me? I'm judging?"

**Yeah, I couldn't get Batman to agree to it. You know, him brooding in his little Batcave. But, you're here, and you aren't doing anything, so, you're judging. **

Diablos covered his face,

"Why me?"

**I needed someone to torture. Plus, I was getting sick of you complaining in the audience, so I thought I'd do this. **

Superman said,

"Well, at least we have two sane judges."

**And, finally, our third judge for the evening…JOKER!  
**Joker cheered,

"Yay! I'm back for an encore!"

He sat next to Diablos,

"We're gonna have fun!"

Diablos groaned,

"Kill me now. Please, someone kill me now."

Joker laughed,

"Hey! Let's see a smile! Turn that frown upside down!"

He pulled out a mallet and slammed it on top of Diablos' head. Diablos had a silly grin on his face,

"Happy."

Joker smirked,

"You see? It works!"

Lex groaned,

"This is going to be a LONG show."

He got hit with a bean bag,

"OW!"

Next Chapter:  
The show begins!

(1) Read Love in the Shadows for more details


	3. Chapter 3

**Dancing Fools 4 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC._

Chapter 3: Suzie Q Sweetness! 

_**One Week Later…**_

Diablos shook his head,

"I can't believe I'm actually doing this."

Wonder Woman was stunned,

"I can't believe he released that tape."

Joker was eating buttered muffins,

"I can't believe it's not butter!"

Everyone groaned at the joke.

Diablos groaned,

"I can't believe I was dragged into this. It's official; Persiana13 and Farrah are the most insane people on this planet. They make the Joker look normal."

Superman groaned off camera,

"How do you think I feel? I have to dance with a woman that has a thing for me!" Superman paused,

"Maxima, get out of my dressing room! I don't even have my clothes on!"

Maxima said off camera,

"But you look SSSSOOOO sexy without them on!"

The sounds of a camera going off and maniacal laughter followed. Wonder Girl smiled,

"I want to see Farrah's sexy new dress. I have to know who she has for a dress maker."

Wonder Woman covered her head,

"I have no idea what you see in her, sister."

The theme song for Dancing with the Stars played. Out steppe the host and co-host Farrah, wearing another revealing red dress. The author said,

**Thank you, thank you, and welcome to the latest season of Dancing Fools. **

Lex was frantic,

"You mean ABC hasn't shut you down yet?"

He got hit with a bean bag,

"OW!"

**Quiet up there in the peanut gallery. Now, this season of Dancing Fools, I wanted to bring in couples that I haven't had time to feature on the show. Trust me when I say, it is all gonna be worth it tonight. The sights, the sounds, the spectale… **

Loud explosions could be heard backstage,

**And we promise bigger and better explosions too! **

Diablos asked,

"Do I even want to know who that was?"

Farrah shrugged,

"Mail man. Who knows?"

**Well, anyway, our first couple in this season's Dancing Fools is a real treat. Too bad, really, cuz they could be villains when we next see them again. **

Sue entered in a blue demure dress,

"What do you mean?"

**I don't want to spread any spoiling rumors, but you and your stretchy husband over there could come back as villains. **

Ralph entered in a tuxedo,

"We would never come back as the bad guys."

The author muttered,

**Black Lanterns would disagree. **

The author smiled,

**Don't worry. Tonight, though, just dance. **

Farrah grinned,

"Tonight, you two will be dancing…the Fox Trot!"

As Sue and Ralph began to dance, the two quickly found rhythm in the other's footsteps. Ralph also used his powers, elongating and wrapping his arms around his wife. The two were almost done when Dr. Light entered, furious,

"PERSIANA13! WHAT IS THIS?"

**This is my show. What the hell are you doing here, Light? **

Dr. Light declared,

"You pair up Sue with…HIM?"

**This is coming from the guy that broke into the Watchtower that time and raped her? **(1)

Ralph shouted,

"You bastard!"

A fight broke out.

**And they were doing so well. **

The author made a phone call,

**Yeah, he's here. You're here too? Great. **

The author hung up, chuckling,

**This'll be good. **

Deathstroke entered,

"Light! You still owe me that money!"

He pulled out a sword and swung wildly. Dr. Light shrieked girlishly,

"HELP! HELP! DON'T KILL ME!"

He ran backstage, Deathstroke in hot pursuit.

**Well, judges, what do you think? **

Wonder Woman smiled,

"Light is getting what he deserves, and Ralph and Sue deserve a nine!"

Diablos nodded,

"It was a good dance. An eight."

Joker laughed,

"Hey, it could be lights out for Light! An eight for me too!"

Farrah clapped,

"25 points. Good way to start off the show!"

**You got that right. When we return, it's going to be John Stewart and Fatality. What type of dance am I going to have them do? Well, stay tuned! **

Next chapter:

More Dancing Madness!

(1) Read Identity Crisis for more details


	4. Chapter 4

**Dancing Fools 4**

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC._

Chapter 4: Shining Star Sapphire! 

The author was talking on the phone,

**You guys have nothing better to do, don't you? I bring good, quality entertainment to the fans and you killjoys have the audacity to say I'm ruining your show! Guess what, I hope you all die a fiery painful death! **

The author hung up,

**I swear, some people live to annoy others. **

Farrah shrugged,

"That's show biz, boss."

Dr. Light ran by on camera,

"Deathstroke, put that sword down!"  
Deathstroke was hot on his heels,

"NEVER! NOT UNTIL YOU PAY ME!"

The author blinked,

**That was unexpected. **

Loud crashing sounds could be heard backstage, followed by Dr. Light's girlish screams. The author shouted,

**Hey, Slade! You can't kill him yet! He's still under contract! **

Diablos shook his head,

"Someone shoot me."

Joker smiled,

"Not a problem!"

He pulled out a gun and fired. A flag with the word BANG came out of the barrel,

"You see, you've just been shot! HAHAHA!"

Wonder Woman sighed,

"Hera, give me strength."

**Yeah, whatever. Let's get back to the show. Now, our next couple comes as quite a surprise to many. I mean, even I didn't expect this. A little background is an order; Fatality used to be a vengeful, angry martial artist whose planet was decimated by John Stewart, accidentally of course. Fatality swore revenge, eventually joining the Sinestro Corps. After Sinestro Wars, Fatality was captured by the Star Sapphires and went through 'therapy'. By that, I mean the Sapphires pretty much took all those aggressive feelings she had out and had them all replaced with love, and pretty rainbows. **

John Stewart entered in tux with violet bow tie,

"Tell me again why I'm doing this? Why I'm dancing with someone that should be my enemy?"

Fatality entered in a scandalous violet outfit,

"Because you and I are soul mates, John. The Star Sapphire ring shows me my true love, and, whenever you are in trouble, I will come to you."

She kissed John's cheek. John Stewart blushed,

"Uh, uh, uh, thanks?"

Farrah cooed,

"Aw, don't they make such a cute couple?"

Lex grumbled,

"The abominable snowman is cuter."

He got hit with a bean bag and fell unconscious.

**That's enough out of him. Now, tonight, John Stewart and Fatality are going to be dancing…the Samba! **

As the two began to dance the samba, Fatality instantly put on the seduction and charm, attempting to have John return it. John tried his best, even though he knew he was spoken for. As they concluded the dance, Hawkgirl entered, clutching her mace,

"DIE!"

She flew into Fatality, a cat-fight breaking out. Guy cheered off camera,

"Giggidy-giggidy-giggidy-giggidy-giggidy-giggidy-giggidy-giggidy…"

Ice shouted off camera,

"Guy!"

The sound of something hard crashing on Guy's forehead could be heard. Guy whined,

"That hurt, Tora!"

Wonder Woman scowled,

"Men!"

Diablos rolled his eyes,

"What a pervert. Shouldn't we break them up?"

**In a sec. **

The author set up a video camera and watched cat-fight,

**I have to get in contact with Vince and the WWE about this. **

The author winced,

**OK, that is something you do NOT use a mace for. **

After several minutes of brawling, swearing, attempted eye gouging, and the occasional bad pun, the fight was broken up. The author said,

**All right, let's go to the judges… **

Wonder Woman asked,

"Must you always be a pervert and tape every cat-fight that goes on around here?"

**I'm a man. It's my nature. **

Wonder Woman rolled her eyes,

"I give an eight."

Diablos critiqued,

"I'll give an eight as well. Little shaky on the foot work."

Joker shrugged,

"Meh. A seven."

Farrah said,

"A total of 23 points. Not bad, not bad at all."

**That's right. Now, when we return, it'll be Big Barda and Mister Miracle in a dance featured on last season's Dancing Fools. Stay tuned. **

Lex smiled happily,

"Pretty birds."

Next Chapter:

More Insanity


	5. Chapter 5

**Dancing Fools 4 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC._

Chapter 5: Miraculous Winning! 

**And, we're back. Ladies and gentlemen, this is turning into quite the show so far. **

Farrah grinned,

"And we still have so much ground to cover too."

Diablos groaned,

"Unfortunately."

He got hit with a mallet,

"OW! Joker!"  
Joker smirked,

"Come on, buddy! Turn that frown upside down. I have just the thing."

He pulled out a can of laughing gas,

"This is guaranteed to put a smile on!"

**Hey, no releasing chemical weapons on my set! Go throw that out, Joker! **

Joker shrugged,

"Suit yourself."

He tossed the can behind him nonchalantly. A loud crash was heard, followed by insane laughter.

**Great. Just great. The janitor is going to have a field day cleaning THAT up. I hope you're happy! **

Joker smiled,

"Ecstatic."

**Well, whatever. Our next dance couple tonight is a pair that totally deserves to be on this show; Big Barda and Mister Miracle!  
**Barda entered in disco outfit,

"I still do not understand. There will be no combat?"

Miracle entered in a disco outfit,

"No, that's not how this works. We're dancing to see who is the best couple on TV."

Barda nodded silently, then asked,

"Why are there no weapons?"

Miracle asked,

"Is that all you ever think about is fighting?"

Barda added,

"And you."

She kissed Miracle on the lips. Farrah cooed,

"Aw, isn't that sweet?"  
**Uh huh, it's rotting my teeth. Come on, people! You're eating up valuable air time!  
**Barda glared,

"One day, Persiana13, I will kill you."

**I've heard it all before, Barda. Now, do your dance. **

Farrah asked,

"What are they dancing?"

**Barda and Miracle will be dancing…Disco! **

Diablos groaned,

"Oh, God."

He got hit with a mallet,

"OW!"

As the two were dancing to Disco music, Miracle did an impressive imitation of John Travolta from 'Saturday Night Fever'. Needless to say, Barda thought this was a battle stance and, pulling out her Mega-rod, slammed it into her husband. Miracle sailed through a wall, screaming,

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

Barda was confused,

"What did I do?"

**Barda, this is dancing, not combat. Although, I must say, you handled that nicely. **

Barda glared,

"You mean this is not a combat sport?"  
Farrah shook her head,

"Nope."

Barda muttered,

"I should have stayed with Granny Goodness. I wouldn't have to put up with this insanity."

**Whatever. Judges, what do you think?  
**Wonder Woman said,

"Very impressive display of weapon using. A nine."

Diablos smirked,

"I liked the John Travolta imitation myself. An eight."

Joker laughed,

"Well, it's a miracle Miracle isn't dead! HAHAHA! A nine!"

Farrah nodded,

"26 points. That puts Barda and Miracle in second place! Yay!"

**Nice to see someone's enthused. Well, when we return, Nightwing and Starfire are going to be doing a dance never featured on this show before! Stay tuned for more insanity! **

Lex cried out,

"For all our sakes, please make him stop the insanity!"

He got hit with a grenade launcher,

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Next Chapter:

More laughs, more dances, more insanity! 


	6. Chapter 6

**Dancing Fools 4 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC._

Chapter 6: Freestyle Frenzy! 

The author was on the phone,

**It's going to cost me HOW MUCH? You can't be serious! Did you just make up a number like that? Do I look like I run ABC studios to you? You know what; just charge it all on Lex's account. Screw it! **

The author hung up,

**I hate this! One of my janitors is in the hospital, and the maintenance crew is charging a fortune to fix that gaping hole in the wall! **

Lex asked,

"What's this charging on my account?"

He got hit with a mallet and fell unconscious. Farrah quipped,

"Shut up, Homer."

The author sighed,

**All right, all right, people. Let's get this show on the road here. Now, next up, Nightwing and Starfire are going to be doing a new style of dance not previously featured on any of the seasons. I have to admit, I am looking forward to this one. **

The phone rang. The author said,

**One minute, people. **

The author talked on the phone,

**You again! How many times are you going to be this much of a bitch? What do you mean I'm getting sued again? By whom? HIM? Please, like he's really complaining! You mean that? You know what; tell him to just try it! **

The author angrily hung up the phone,

**Those idiot lawyers again. They just can't take a joke. **

Booster said,

"Well, you are technically ripping off their show."

He got shot with a bazooka,

"IT BURNS! IT BURNS! THE PAIN!"

Booster ran out of the studio.

**That'll teach him. Now, Nightwing and Starfire are going to be doing a new dance. It's called Freestyle dancing. Basically, this means that they can do whatever they want on stage in rhythmic harmony. At least, in theory. **

Starfire entered in a black skintight outfit,

"I still do not understand what I am supposed to do here. I thought we were doing a ballet dance."

**Hey, I came up with these dances best suited to each of your athletic abilities. **

Diablos grumbled,

"Translation; he drew them out of a hat."

He got hit with a bean bag,

"OW! Farrah!"

Farrah looked, asking innocently,

"What? What did I do?"

Nightwing entered,

"Don't worry, Kory. This'll be easy for both of us."

As the two danced the freestyle dancing, Nightwing performed some daring acrobatic feats. Starfire tried to do the same, and everyone was surprised at how flexible she is. The two continued to dance for a while, almost in perfect rhythmic synchronicity. Nightwing threw Starfire in the air and was about to catch her when Blackfire entered,

"You bitch!"

Nightwing looked,

"What are you doing here?"

Starfire crashed on top of him. Nightwing yelled,

"MY BACK! MY BACK!"  
Starfire glared,

"Hello, dear sister."

She tackled Blackfire, a cat-fight erupting. The author blinked,

**Well, this is an unexpected turn of events. **

Guy yelled,

"TAKE IT OFF!"

Ice admonished,

"Guy!"

She slapped him upside the head.

Wonder Woman noticed several men in the audience drooling at the cat-fight. She scowled,

"Men."

Diablos groaned,

"This is definitely not good."

The catfight went off camera.

**Well, I'll let the security cameras capture the footage. Let's go to the judges and see what they think. **

Diablos blinked,

"You actually care what we think?"

**No, I just need you to say something before we go on to our next couple. **

Diablos said,

"I give a nine."

Wonder Woman nodded,

"I definitely could see that. Nightwing and Starfire are very talented. I give a nine."

Joker declared,

"I give…TEN!"

Farrah clapped,

"Twenty eight points. Starfire and Nightwing are tied for first place."

**That they are, Persiana. Well, when we return, we're going to see Carol Ferris and Hal Jordan up next! Stay tuned! **

Next Chapter:  
The insanity continues!


	7. Chapter 7

**Dancing Fools 4 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC._

Chapter 7 Light Spectrum Lashing! 

The author looked at footage from the cat-fight,

**Nice! This is some dramatic footage I was able to capture. Think of the money I could make on this. **

Diablos shook his head,

"He's lost it. He's totally lost it."

Wonder Woman said flatly,

"I don't think he had much of it to begin with."

She then got hit with a bean bag,

"Farrah!"  
Farrah shrugged innocently,

"What? What did I do?"

She reloaded the bean bag gun,

"It slipped."

Lex grumbled,

"So has Persiana13's sanity."

He got hit with bean bag,

"OW!"

Farrah sheepishly said,

"Sorry, it slipped again."

She reloaded the bean bag gun. Diablos said,

"I think my girlfriend is more dangerous with that thing than Persiana13 is."

He ducked, anticipating a shot. Farrah smiled sweetly,

"Oh, come on. I would never shoot my boyfriend."  
Diablos nervously got up,

"You mean that?"

Farrah nodded,

"Of course."

She pulled out a mallet and slammed it on top of Diablos' head,

"I just love giving you love taps."

Diablos rubbed his head,

"That really hurt!"

The author put the camera away,

**All right, now that we've gotten the mandatory judge torture part of this chapter done; let's get back to the dancing. Now, our next couple tonight is another hero/villain pairing. Star Sapphire and Hal Jordan have been on opposite sides of fights, but, recently, Star Sapphire has recently claimed her love for Hal. **

Star Sapphire entered in revealing purple dress,

"Oh, beloved Hal, come out and play."

**Yes, ladies and gentlemen, tonight, Star Sapphire is going to dance with Hal in the Salsa style. **

Joker laughed,

"This'll heat the competition up!"

He laughed at his own joke. Hal entered in appropriate salsa wear,

"Tell me again why I'm doing this?"

Star Sapphire grinned,

"Because you love me."

She grabbed Hal's butt lustfully,

"Besides, I need something to do before Blackest Night."

Diablos asked,

"Isn't that the new Green Lantern story that's supposed to be out soon about Black Hand reviving dead heroes with the Black Lantern ring? I heard one of them could be-."

He then got hit with a mallet and knocked unconscious.

**Geez, Diablos. Don't spoil everything. I want the fans to find out when they read it. I figured out maybe a few of the people that are going to be on Black Lanterns. I'll just have to wait until July to see who is on this newest Lantern team. Anyway, let's get on with the show. **

As Star Sapphire and Hal danced the salsa, it was evident Sapphire wants to exploit the sensuality of the dance, and continuously runs her hands all over Hal's body. Hal was uncomfortable to say the least, but tried to get through the dance without losing his cool. However…  
Sinestro entered,

"DIE, HAL JORDAN!"

He fired a yellow energy beam from his ring at Hal. Star Sapphire put up shield around them both,

"THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND!"

She tackled Sinestro, a fight breaking out. Atroticus entered,

"LANTERN SCUM, YOU WILL FALL TO RED LANTERN'S LIGHT!"

He jumped at Hal, another brawl breaking out. Agent Orange entered,

"Give it to me! Give me all your rings!"

Ganthet entered,

"I do not think so. The Blue Lantern's light shines upon them."

A brawl broke out. The author blinked,

**For those of you wondering, Atrocious is a Red Lantern, signifying rage. Agent Orange is an Orange Lantern, signifying avarice and greed. Ganthet is a Blue Lantern. Yes, you're hearing this correctly, a Blue Lantern, a symbol of hope. And, as you know, yellow is the color of fear. **

Diablos woke up,

"Wait, since when is Ganthet a Blue Lantern?"  
**Probably since he embraced emotion. Blue Lantern Corps is relatively new and small, but the most powerful. They stop red and de-power yellow, and orange can't drain from them. They also charge green rings, and change dying suns into blue stars. Only problem is, they need green to help them; otherwise, they are pretty puny. **

Wonder Woman asked,

"Wait, what about indigo?"  
**Don't know yet. Anyway, let's see the judges' reaction. **

Wonder Woman frowned,

"The dance had style, but I was not thoroughly impressed. A seven."

Diablos applauded,

"Good pairing, good showing. A nine."

Joker laughed,

"The brawl makes it worth it! TEN!"

Farrah cheered,

"Twenty six points! Not bad."

**It's shaping up to be a close one. Next up, Superman and Maxima! This one's going to be a show stopper! **

Next Chapter:

The insanity continues!

AN: This information was available at Free Comic Book Day's give-away preview issue of Blackest Night. Looks to be a good read.


	8. Chapter 8

**Dancing Fools 4 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC._

Chapter 8: Maximizing Your Potential 

Diablos had an ice pack on his head,

"We have to get those mallets away from him. Those really, really hurt."

Wonder Girl asked,

"Did you not say you healed quickly?"

Diablos sighed,

"It doesn't mean it would be easy. Depending on my injuries, it hurts worse when I heal, especially when my lungs have to re-inflate. That hurts like hell."

Wonder Girl shrugged,

"I suppose.

She shook her head,

But, I do not understand something. How is it you have managed to get a woman as attractive, as supple, as intelligent…did I say supple?"

Diablos shrugged,

"I don't know, and I have no idea what I see in her either. I guess it's just that she's so adorable you just want to hug her."

Wonder Girl snickered,

"Believe me; I want to do MORE than just hug her."

She dreamily stared at Farrah. Wonder Woman shook her head,

"Mother would never approve."

Booster asked,

"Isn't she a little busy being drunk to notice, after that outfit Farrah made for you?" (1)

Wonder Woman groaned,

"Don't remind me."

**You have to admit, it did the job. **

Wonder Woman asked,

"Did those photos have to be put up all over the Internet?"

**Hey, how is that my fault? Do I look like the type to place hidden cameras in the bedroom? **

Everyone looked at the insane author, to which came the response,

**You're right, I would. **

Lex shook his head,

"There's a news flash for you."

He then got hit with a bean bag,

"OW!"

**That's better. Now, for our next couple, Superman and Maxima definitely have a long history here. Here's a recap; Maxi has a thing for Superman. She kidnaps him back to Almanac-. **

Maxima entered in revealing yellow gown,

"It's Almerac."

**Right. So, anyway, she kidnaps Supes back to Almanac-. **

Maxima gritted her teeth,

"It is ALMERAC!"

**Oh, I get it. Almerac. So, anyway, she kidnaps Supes and brings him to Almerac to get married and produce an heir, or heiress. **

The author paused,

**Can you imagine kids with this woman right here? **

The author shuddered at the thought. Maxima placed her hands on her hips, glaring,

"What are you insinuating?"

Farrah quipped,

"He means the universe would never survive if Superman would make babies with you."

Maxima sniffed,

"I am not that bad."

**Trust us, you are. **

Superman entered,

"I hope you realize, Lois could show up here at any minute when she sees me dancing with Maxima."

**Does it look like I care? You two are dancing the Samba, so get to it! **

As Maxima and Superman danced the samba, Maxima was determined to fully engross her sexuality into the dance. Superman tried to concentrate, but with the thought of his wife looming at any second, he had to work quickly. However, as the dance concluded, so did the peace. Lois stormed in,

"CLARK JOSEPH KENT!"  
**Here we go again. **

Lois growled,

"How many times are you going to keep doing this?"  
Maxima stepped forward,

"Silence, creature. Superman and I are going to make babies."

Lois was enraged,

"DIE!"

A cat-fight broke out. Booster called out,

"Take it off!"

Superboy declared,

"Place your bets now!"

Guy crowed,

"Gimme fifty on Lois!"

Diablos sighed,

"This is definitely not happening. I am surrounded by idiot perverts."  
Wonder Woman shook her head,

"And I used to wonder why men aren't allowed on Themysciria."

Wonder Girl grumbled,

"You said it, sister."

Farrah rolled her eyes,

"Please, you would so be joining them if it were me tumbling out there."

Wonder Girl opened her mouth to say something, but did not.

**All right, you two, break it up! **

The author pulled out a firehouse and sprayed Maxima and Lois with it,

**Now that they're cooled off, judges? **

Wonder Woman applauded,

"Definitely a worthy dance performance all around. Nine."

Diablos nodded approvingly,

"I have to give nine as well."

Joker declared,

"TEN!"

Farrah smiled,

"Twenty eight points. Awesome."

**That's right, it is close. Now, we have one more couple tonight. Catwoman and Catman. **

Lex groaned,

"Finally."  
He got hit with a mallet and knocked unconscious.

Next Chapter:

Catwoman and Catman torture runs rampant! Stay tuned.

(1) Read Love in the Shadows for more details


	9. Chapter 9

**Dancing Fools 4 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC._

Chapter 9: Cat Fight! 

Diablos said,

"Catman and Catwoman are up next. I have a feeling this is going to end badly."

Wonder Woman shivered,

"I hope it does. Gods, how could Batman even be attracted to a woman like her?"

Diablos answered,

"Probably the same reason Donna's into Farrah."

Wonder Woman blinked,

"You may be right."

Batman entered,

"Am I too late?"  
Diablos shook his head,

"No, you're just on time to see Catman and Catwoman get utterly humiliated."

He looked at a sinisterly smiling Farrah,

I don't even want to know what she's got planned.

Farrah, a wide, evil smile appearing on her face, said,

"Oh, this is so going to be good."

**I'm almost afraid to ask. Almost. What do you have planned for those two?  
**Farrah said,

"A sure fire way of Catwoman never getting Batman, and, as for Catman…"

Catman entered in flowing dress, outraged,

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?"

The audience burst into laughter. Farrah grinned,

"It's the latest design. Trust me; it took me a long time to make that dress.

Catwoman entered in a leather tuxedo,

"You must have mixed up the costumes."

Farrah shook her head,

"Nope, I didn't. This is what you'll be wearing."

Diablos looked away,

"That is more of Catman than I ever dare to look at in a life-time."

Catman asked,

"Is this how you treat the man that wants to father our kittens?"

Farrah whipped out a bazooka, threatening,

"Mention having kids again, and I'll blow you up with this!"

**I think she's serious this time, Catman. Look at it this way; you can always score with Cheshire. **

Cheshire shook her head,

"No thank you. I am NOT interested in a guy like him."

**Oh, well. You two better get dancing. **

Hesitant, both agreed to do it. It was not long, however, before problems arose. Catman, clumsily dancing in high heels, stepped on Catwoman's foot. Catwoman shouted,

"OWWW! Catman, you idiot! You stepped on my foot!"

Catman groaned,

"Well, it's really hard to dance in high heels. Besides, I want to be dancing with…HER!"

He licked his lips seductively at Farrah. Farrah, who still had the bazooka, groaned,

"Screw this."  
She fired the bazooka and Catman erupted into flames. Catman ran,

"HHHHEEEELLLLPPPP! PUT IT OUT! IT BURNS! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Catman continued to scream girlishly and ran off the set. Catwoman shrugged,

"Now that that's out of the way…"

She turned to Batman, seductively saying,

"Hello, handsome."

Wonder Woman stood up,

"He's spoken for. Go sleep with Catman."

Catwoman shrieked,

"DIE, AMAZON COW!"

A cat-fight broke out. Flash called out,

"TAKE IT OFF! RIP YOUR CLOTHES OFF!"

Guy yelled,

"GIMME FIFTY ON WONDER WOMAN!"  
The author got a video camera into position,

**Oh, yeah. This is so going on the internet. Well, since we have to give a judge reaction, what do they think? **

Diablos shook his head,

"No. Catman in a dress is disturbing. Zero."

Joker blinked,

"And here I thought I was crazy. Zero."

Wonder Woman, who was still in her fight, said,

"Zero."

Catwoman yelled,

"BITCH!"  
Farrah pretended to wince,

"Zero points. The lowest score in history goes to those two. Ouch."

**That's the breaks, I'm afraid. Well, when we return, hopefully the fight will be over, Catman will be put out, and America will vote on who should stay and go. Stay tuned! **

Next Chapter:

The finale!


	10. Chapter 10

**Dancing Fools 4 **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC._

Chapter 10: Finale! 

**Well, we've seen some amazing things on this show today, some talented and others…not so much. **

Diablos sighed,

"Finally, it's over."

He then got hit with a mallet,

"OW!"

**Shut up! I'm not done yet! Anyways, America, you get to cast the vote on who stays and who goes. Now, don't forget, you can't vote until after the show. So, as soon as I'm done talking, which should be relatively soon by the way, you will be able to vote. **

Catman yelled,

"NO!"

He grabbed the camera and pulled out the tape,

"HAHAHA! NOW, AMERICA CAN'T VOTE ME OFF! I WIN!"

Farrah said with a nervous twitch in her eye,

"Catman, start running."

Catman saw Farrah grab a machine gun and swallowed,

"Uh-oh. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

Catman ran, Farrah was in hot pursuit.

**Well, that went well. **

There was a loud rumble and explosion could be heard outside,

**I gotta see this. **

The author walked out and was stunned,

**Holy crap! Since when did Farrah get a tank? **

Farrah, wearing an Army helmet, cackled,

"DIE, CATMAN!"

She fired another shot off. Catman, barely dodging the explosion, screamed,

"HELP! HELP! YOU'RE ALL HEROES! DO SOMETHING!"

Wonder Woman: You're right. We will do something."

She pulled out a video camera and started recording,

"Mother is really going to enjoy this. She actually might like Farrah now."

Farrah drove tank all over outdoor sets, running over everything in sight. She cackled,

"CATMAN, LEAVE ME ALONE! STOP TRYING TO MAKE KITTENS WITH ME!"

Lex was outraged,

"She ran over my limo!"  
Mercy screamed,

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Diablos blinked,

"I am so glad I am on her good side."

**Well, so much for that. Well, till next time, ladies and gentlemen. I'll see myself out. **

The author ran into the back, and flew away in a helicopter.

End of Dancing Fools 4


End file.
